Anticipation
In a geeky programmer post Jeff Atwood made, he included this gem:
His [Daniel Gilbert's] research found that people are bad at predicting their own future happiness. They tend to radically overestimate the positive or negative impact of large events in their lives — losing your job, getting rich, getting divorced, having children. That’s generally good; it means we have defense mechanisms in place to adapt and survive in our changing circumstances as human beings.
What’s the lesson? Don’t avoid doing things because you fear the impact they might have on your life. Don’t do things that you’re only interested in the impact they’ll have on your life. Don’t suffer a meaningless toil, no matter how great the potential reward.
Live so that you can enjoy as many things as possible each day. That doesn’t mean banishing all of life’s annoyances. Perhaps some small joy can be found in them. Appreciate the rusty hinge or fix it; don’t let it bug you.
Enjoy the journey, choose the paths you pursue with that in mind, and don’t overlook the little things.
“Appreciate the rusty hinge or fix it; don’t let it bug you.” Amen.
Happiness is such a subjective thing. We all know that. What makes me happy may have absolutely no bearing on you, and vice-versa. But there are some universal truths in the pursuit of happiness. The first being that in order to find happiness with or in another person you first must have a measure of happiness in your own life. It is like so many other things in our lives, if we don’t have a common frame of reference, then it is difficult to relate to the question: “Are you happy?”
The other thing that has an absolute bearing on our happiness is having love in our lives. On our own, left to our own devices, it is possible to find a measure of happiness. But to truly reach an enlightened state of happiness, I believe, it is only possible through sharing love with another person. Until you have looked at the face of a person who is in love, I mean that balls-to-the-wall kind of love, you have not seen true happiness. I saw it in your eyes and on your face the first time I saw you together with Robin. Maybe that is too personal for this venue, but it is true. After 25 years of living, it was the first time I ever saw truly glowing happiness on your face. And it wasn’t from the conquest of a video game, the acquisition of some esoteric computer part, or from the best meal you had ever consumed. It was secondary to being in love. How cool is that??
Anticipation. How many people do you know who live their whole lives in a state of anticipation. Always waiting for the next big event, only to be disappointed by it once it has come.
And what this says is so true. Don’t make decisions in your life based on the what impact they will have on your your level of happiness. Make those decisions based on what your wants and needs are. Make them based on the amount of joy they bring to your life.
In this world you have to grab life with both hands and hold on for dear life. There are no do-overs. There are no real second chances. You make your own fate, your own destiny. And don’t let anyone dictate your level of happiness. Find it for yourself. Only then can you share that happiness with those you love.
I apologize for the protracted reply!!